White Li(n)es -j. 2020

This piece has a lot of meaning behind it. I, after several months, have finally gotten myself to create this piece. This may seem like just a simple painting with a girl with white lines dripping over her, but it isn’t just that. Yes, that’s what you see at the surface level, but that is not all it holds. Let me tell you the backstory to this piece.

I started talking to this person, and we really clicked, we had great conversations, we connected on things deeper than the surface, we told each other our secrets, (well some of them), we made each other laugh, we enjoyed each other’s company, and most of all, we loved the same music. This may seem like a small thing, but my music taste is very specific and they liked the same style as I did. I remember there was one night we were on the phone, sharing music with each other, and they showed me this one song in particular “White Lies (Acoustic)” by Dream State. The second I hear this song, I fell in love with it: the tune, the rhythm, the lyrics, the passion, everything. I really connected with the song in an odd way. Music is an art that I find to be more personal. No-one will understand what I feel for this song, and I like that. Everyone perceives music differently and it’s amazing. Anyway, I listened to this song on repeat throughout knowing this person. I thought about them when I listened to it and then eventually, I was robbed of a song I loved. This person and I went our separate ways and I couldn’t bring myself to listen to this song without thinking of them. I didn’t want to think about them because it made the memories relapse. It’s funny though, I didn’t even know them that long. I had not listened to this song for months because I told myself to leave these songs in that chapter of my life. You see, I associate certain songs with periods of my life because that’s what I listened to at that time. This song was one of the many that I loved, but I gave up in order to forget, to move on. Although it did help not listening to those songs, I still loved them.

One night, I was talking to a few friends about what music we love and I brought up these songs. I told them I had not listened to them in months because they made me think of this person. They told me about how they dealt with the same thing; one song they couldn’t listen to without thinking of this one person. As I listened to them talking about how they loved that song, and they want to listen to it, but they’re not ready, I related to that a lot. I also had a realization: Why am I giving up these songs just because of this one person? Why did I ever give them the power to rob me of songs I loved? I came to the conclusion, I will not let this person ruin these songs for me anymore. I love these songs. I opened up my music app and clicked the playlist and listened and fell in love with these songs all over again. I took my power back. These are my songs to enjoy, the memories may come back every once an a while, but their “power” to these songs is no longer.

I also realized, these songs don’t remind me of them, like, at all. Well, maybe a little, but I thanked that memory and I waved goodbye. I will not dwell on those memories anymore. If I love a song I am going to listen to it and change the meaning of that song, make new memories with it. Yes, that memory will still be in the back of my head, but that’s okay. I’m gonna make even more memories with it, so the good out weighs the bad.


If you’ve read this far, thank you. This painting is a whole lot more personal than I can put into words. Thank you for listening to my story and I hope this helps. If you love a song, take your power back and listen to it, when you are ready, of course. Never rush healing. If you are dealing with this same thing, you will be okay, it just takes time. Trust the process.

-j.

Posted by:creatingbyjenna

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