This is my newest painting “Breathing Without Oxygen For The First Time”.
The idea for this painting came to me one night when I was sitting in my room, just numb. A little back story: I met someone, and they made me really happy. They were everything I could ever ask for and more. It was going really well. We had spent all day with each other one day, and the next, I knew something was off. Something didn’t feel right, and I could feel it right in my gut. And that feeling was right, I was right. As, soon as I feel something off, in anything friendship or relationship, most of the time, I am right. Nothing hurts more than expecting something to come, and it actually happen, but you hope with every part of you that it is just a dream. So unfortunately, it wasn’t a dream. What I had with this person ended, and at first it was all numb, really numb. I understood where the person was coming from, but it still hurt. Time went on, and I got sad thinking about everything, so I wrote, a lot. I wrote one poem with a line saying, “It was like breathing without oxygen for the first time.” I had pictured the painting in my head since that day. And one night, I was so tired of sitting and thinking, that I picked up a canvas and drew. While I drew, I listened to “July” by Noah Cyrus. This song has gotten me through the end of this year, and continues to. It is moments like this, that make me realize how in love I am with art. Art is my outlet, my one safe place. Where I can vent without saying a word.
“Breathing Without Oxygen For The First Time” is my vent. Everything in it ties to one thing. And I think I will keep that to myself.
Thank you, for letting me vent.