2010 vs. 2020

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It is insane what 10 years can bring. A whole lot of breaking, growing, learning, and self love later, I am someone 7 year old me would have never ever imagined she could be. I am so incredibly proud of who I am, what I do, and where I am going. This decade has broken me to my absolute lowest, but has also built me up to my absolute highest. I have become authentically me and I am never going to apologize for it. 


The Most Valuable

If there is anything this decade has taught me; it is self love. In 5th grade I completely lost myself. I had no idea who I was, well, I didn’t know that. I thought I was being who I was meant to be, but it was all an act. Eventually, I hated myself. Who I was being, was not me at all. I had this mind blowing moment where I completely broke. It was as if I was a glass window, that fell and completely shattered. At the time, it was awful, I felt completely out of place, as if I didn’t belong. That was my breaking point. I hated what I saw in the mirror, my smiles were all fake, all I felt was numb. Family situations were a part of the cause of me falling apart, but that was the only bare minimum. I tried to impress people, I cared about what people thought of me, I cared so much. Until one day, I had enough. I was tired of being someone I wasn’t. I was tired of pretending. I was tired of people pretending to like me. In this moment that I realized all of this, was when I knew I deserved better. Of course, I was still broken, it is hard putting shattered glass back together, but I kept trying. I focused on myself, I got the help I needed. There were plenty of ups and downs, but that is just apart of the healing process. As time went on I started to be, me, and it was the best decision I had ever made. I slowly started to show the me I had been hiding all along and I’m finally able to say I love that girl. She is one of the strongest girls I know and I am so incredibly proud of her. Finally being able to say that and mean that still makes me tear up. I hated who I was, but now, I love myself. I love what I see in the mirror, my smile isn’t forced anymore, and for once I feel alive. Alive and wanting to see tomorrow. If I never discovered my self worth, I wouldn’t be breathing.


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